~In My Mind Right Now~

okay firstly.
i feel soo wrong cause im kinda dating the girl whom my best bro crushes.
what's worst is that i thought i let my chance go for him.
then end up the balls back at me.
so how do you think i feel?
when you actually wanted your best friends to be happy but you end up somewhat whom destroy their hopes and foundation?
i spent restless nights thinking and thinking.
the agony of thoughts itself demotivates me.
and i wonder am i what i am..?
Im trying my best to not fail both hearts.
so i turn to friends whom i thought could really help and give real advices.
but noo, they seem to make me look at it like some sort of a game. fuck.
and plus thanks for tonight.
a somewhat despo suddenly pops up and say hi.
i dont know you but i like you 3 years back?
huh?
what the fuck were you thinking moron..?
were you born from a computer..?
fuck la.
im jinx every october.
and i knew it ever since my 13th birthday.
yes 13th.
fuck 13th you asshole!